12 Goodbyes To Consider

Carly BensonPractice, Transformation0 Comments

goodbye, letting go, tulum

I had a dream the other night where I was giving a speech to my graduating class from college. I prepared the talk and let a friend read it. This person looked at me after reading it and said, “It’s alright, but nothing pisses me off more than when I see someone is being mediocre when they have greatness inside them.” They proceeded to tell me to go up there and give a goodbye speech from the heart and show my greatness. Give them a farewell that makes them excited about closing this chapter and starting a new one. When I woke up this shook me to my core for some reason.

Coincidentally, I went to a yoga class that same day and the intention question the teacher kept asking us was, “Are you willing to come apart for the sake of growth?”

I started thinking about all the things, places and people I’ve said goodbye to over the years. Some of those farewells were extremely painful and others were easier. I got to thinking about how goodbye has such negative emotions tied to it that it can lead us to avoidance of coming apart or letting go of things not meant for us. However, in my experience, there has proved to be a lot of good in goodbye.

I became flooded with thoughts of all the things we say so long to in our lives. Some of which are still a work in progress for me by the way. I recognize that although we all experience goodbyes in our own way, we also are interconnected in that we each experience them in some form. As I began to mentally form a list of things I’ve said goodbye to in the past, it became apparent to me that we all face times in our lives where we need to release things. As this mental list grew and realizations became clearer, it helped me to see something we should all give thought to which is 12 Goodbyes To Consider.

  1. Bad habits that stunt our growth. Because it’s easier to keep the rhythm of a habit than to try to break it. Once we decide to cultivate new habits as we lay our bad ones to rest, we step into true personal growth.
  2. Toxic relationships that we are only in because we are afraid of starting over or we are hanging on to for comfort. Saying goodbye to relationships that no longer serve us is such an opportunity to become more independent and to reconnect to happiness on our terms.
  3. Jobs that make us miserable and offer no potential for fulfilling that which we dream of because we don’t realize how close our dreams really can be. When we take a leap of faith to pursue a career path that is more in line with our passions, it feels less like work and it fills us with a sense of meaning.
  4. Friends we have grown apart from because our paths have taken us in different directions. It’s ok to hold them in our heart but release them into their new worlds without us. This gives us extra room to connect with people who are more synergistic to our current priorities.
  5. Negative self talk that keeps us from seeing ourselves in the way God intended for us to be. We must be careful of how we speak to ourselves and the thoughts we let build homes in our heads. When we release the negative voice in our head, we find all the beautiful and unique things we were created, designed and built with instead.
  6. Fear. It can cripple us by convincing us that we can’t, we aren’t enough or we don’t have what it takes. But why not just go for it? If we aren’t willing to let go of and say goodbye to our fears how will we ever know how far we can go?
  7. The past. Because what happened there can never be changed so why should we allow it to carry forward into our future? When we let go of the past and accept it for its purpose in our lives, we begin to gain a clearer perspective of the present moment, which is all we have to work with.
  8. Lost love. We all experience love in different forms with different people. Sometimes that love or that person is only meant to make us stronger. They come into our lives to stretch us and to teach us about letting go. Honoring love that no longer can stay in our hearts and allowing it to become a memory is what opens us again for finding love that can fill our souls in new ways.
  9. Our comfort zones. As I’ve always said, miracles happen on the other side of fear. I’ve found that the only thing holding us in our comfort zones is the fear of discomfort we may feel in facing the unknown. By moving into the discomfort, we find new comforts we didn’t know existed.
  10. Resentment. When we resent something, we take away from seeing the beauty of life. People hurt us so that we can learn the true meaning of forgiveness. We must come apart and even fall apart so we can allow the challenge of forgiveness to work in our hearts.
  11. Anger that chains us. We must say goodbye to reactions of this nature because anger is at the core of resentment, regret and fear. Anger serves no purpose other than the devil’s.
  12. Pride. Our egos will get the best of us if we let them. When we put our pridefulness to the side whether it be for love, to ask for help or to realize we are all still learning, saying goodbye to pride is the pathway to ultimate love. The love of oneself and for one another.

Think of some things you’ve said goodbye to whether by choice or because you had to, and then think of what became of it all in the months or years following. After the initial pain or wounds healed, how did letting go positively impact your life? If we can see through the sadness and work around the negative connotations that come with goodbye, we will see that there is always some good in goodbye.

If we really think about this, some goodbyes break us into pieces. Some things we let go of cause us to come apart.

But there is such beauty in the breakdown because we are forced to rebuild.

To reconstruct.

To redesign our lives with our new set of circumstances.

In our new state of being.

With our new evolved selves.

Goodbyes are the ultimate vehicle for growth.

The bible says that God is always working things in our lives for our greater good. Sometimes that means He might ask us to say goodbye so that a new, better hello can become possible. So that we can see and show our greatness. And to allow space for newness to emerge.

What do you need to say goodbye to in your life so that something greater can surface? Are you willing to come apart to allow yourself to experience growth and open the door to new possibilities? What can you let go of so that this space can be filled with something greater?