Your Tribe Affects Your Vibe

Carly BensonPersonal Development, Realize0 Comments

your tribe affects your vibe carly benson

I was recently tagged in a video dancing at a pool party and while it was all in good, sober fun for me, it was brought to my attention by several people that it didn’t seem too fitting for the lifestyle I write and speak about. I’m all about demonstrating that you can still have a ton of fun in sobriety, but I could see how this may have appeared a bit contradictory to my goals and objectives.

It really got me thinking about the company we keep and how important it truly is to be surrounded by people who help us be the best we can be. They say:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

There was a study done at Harvard University by social psychologist Dr. David McCleland, where he deduced that the people we speak with every day and hang around on a regular basis determine up to 95 percent of our success; or lack thereof in some cases. That’s huge!

If we really think about this, it makes a good deal of sense. If you want to be a high vibe person who gets things done and is known for being an innovator, producer, class act, thought leader and or a glowing success, you’ve got to be aware of your tribe. They say your vibe attracts your tribe. But I say your tribe affects your vibe.

There are many things to consider about your trusted tribe…


Who we are engaging in conversations with on a daily and weekly basis plays a role into our thought processes and how we view the world. I’m curious by nature and I do love new perspectives and talking with all types of people, but when it come to the people in my circle, I like to keep it tight like a VIP section: roped off to only the Very Inspiring People. Those are my kind of VIP’s.

Our goal should be to be around people with likeminded or even bigger goals and aspirations than us. Surround yourself with people who inspire you to do better, dream bigger, reach higher and aim further. There is nothing more inspirational than a person who is on fire for life and when you are around one of them, they light you up and pass on their torch.

People either inspire you or they drain you, choose wisely.

Raising The Bar

I’m talking about the people who want to achieve greatness and will not settle for mediocrity. People who aren’t looking to be average, but above average.

If we are the sum of who we hang out with, we should aim to be around people who are setting the bar high with their actions, intentions and habits so that we can as well. I’d rather be around others who can run circles around me in their intelligence, will power, work ethic and ability to see things through so I can learn from them. I like learning new tricks and being around motivation. It’s contagious.

These are the people who are up at sunrise and who burn the midnight oil. They are the ones with goals, desires and dreams so big they can’t sleep. They are bursting at the seams to share their gifts with others, build their legacies and make a positive impact on this world.

Yes, please. I’ll have what they’re having.


We’ve all heard it before: Energy is contagious. If you are hanging with low vibe and low frequency peeps, that is bound to rub off on you. Have you ever noticed when you are near a high energy and high functioning person that they tend to get you hyped up? That’s because their energy imprints on you as you see them in action and you cannot help but begin to take action yourself.

However, when you’re hanging with people who are stuck in life, depressed, lazy, always partying or not working on their dreams, eventually their energy will rub off on you all the same. The naysayers, negative nellys, Debbie downers and complacent cats needn’t apply.

Vibes are like electricity. People either positively affect or adversely infect you. Choose the frequencies you decide to cross wires with very carefully.


If you want to be an entrepreneur, get involved with people who build businesses and take healthy risks. If you want to build an empire, surround yourself with people who have already successfully built one or are in the process of it. If you want to have a successful love relationship, spend time around others who are madly in love and know what it takes to make one work. If you want to be sober, consider spending less time around those who party, drink or do drugs.

Bottom line is if you’re hanging with people who have bad habits, good luck breaking your own. Habits are something we learn and carry from others. For example, if you’re always around people who curse, most likely, you’ll start to have more of a potty mouth (guilty).

Put yourself in the center of people who have good habits and ones that you wouldn’t mind mirroring. When you are trying to build healthier habits for yourself, get around people who have habits you’d like to imitate and spend less time around people who only fuel your bad habits or give you new ones.


Who do you want to be known as? Your tribe says a lot about where you are in life. The people you surround yourself with on a continual basis depict where you are. Photos, videos, tags, locations and the world of social media can suggest a lot about a person. In this day and age of living our lives online, personal branding is important, whether you’re in business or not.

Do you want to be known as the party girl or guy? If that’s all you seem to show up in or around, whether you want that reputation or not, it will take on a life of it’s own. If you want to be known as an entrepreneur, business person, expert or philanthropist, get involved in activities with people and at places that represent who you really are or want to be.

As unfortunate as it may be, we are guilty by association in the people and places we choose to be around.


Be around people who hold you accountable to being the best version of you and will not dish out or take any bullshit. These people will hold you to a higher standard. They push you into your potential because they see it long before you do.

I want people who call me on my stuff and who create space for me to grow, evolve and shed layers of me that are no longer useful. I have respect for the people in my life that always keep it real by keeping me in check, especially when I’ve stepped out of line. Those are the kinds of people I want around because they make me better. And even though that kind of tough love can be challenging, in the end, it’s those conversations and challenges that make us stronger and wiser.

The people I mentioned in the beginning of this post who called me out for hanging around in places and with people that aren’t in line with what I preach only did that out of love and concern. It is because of that level of accountability that this post was born. It stretched me into exploring this concept further and out of it came new insight for me and now for you.

“You are only as good as the company you keep.”

Listen, I’m not saying to get rid of all your relationships, but what I am saying is to spend some time reevaluating who and where you spend your time. If it’s not a fit with who you truly aspire to be, make some adjustments. Choose  places, people and conversations wisely because they become a piece of you.

People are the building blocks of your success. So, make sure your architecture matches the life you intend to build for yourself. In not, perhaps, it’s time for some renovations.

Keep your inner circle tight. Choose your tribe wisely. Your tribe affects your vibe.

I hope this message serves you. Miracles ARE Brewing…