What’s In Your Hyphen?

Carly BensonPersonal Development, Realize2 Comments

carly benson spend your time wisely

I saw and posted a quote not too long ago that really got me thinking. It said:

“If you truly want to know what a person’s goals and dreams are, ask them what they do on a Sunday afternoon.” – Meredith Marple

I used to spend my Sunday afternoons in misery for how I spent my time throughout the weekend in a sorted love affair with booze, cocaine and the sunrise. I’m so happy Sundays are no longer something I dread. Instead they are a day of connecting to my spirit, resting, reading, writing and aligning myself to my goals for the week through healthy endeavors.

Gone are the Sundays of clouded and depressed thoughts, lethargy, feeling poorly/hung-over/depleted/exhausted, regretting, self-loathing or wishing I spent my time in more mindful ways to support my well being and true happiness.

I used to spend Sundays recovering from binging, partying and pulling all-nighters. I wasn’t fueling my dreams, but rather fueling my emptiness. Thankfully, Sundays are now a day I can look forward to and feel good about myself for another week/end well spent.

I finally reached a point where I knew there had to be a better way to spend my time and ultimately my life. I wanted to start really making it count. I didn’t want to spend it hung-over, depressed and not following my dreams or even having the clarity to know what they were.

When sobriety became my lifestyle and people started asking me for help, I realized I had been given a gift, a freaking miracle, and I needed to be a better steward of it. And the first place to start was with my time.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they spend their Sunday afternoons. Are you spending yours wisely and well? Are you nursing your dreams or nursing a hangover? Are you more interested in Sunday Funday or ambitiously working on your goals? Are you dreading Monday and the week ahead? Are you feeding your mind/body/soul or starving them? Are you giving life to your goals or feeling like the life has been sucked out of you?

Taking it a step further, how we spend our time in general really shows what our priorities are in life. Intentions are great, but making time to take action on them is the only way to give them real validity.

We always think of tomorrow in terms of it being some sort of commodity, when this just isn’t the case. Often times tomorrow becomes next week, next year and, too often, never. If today were your last day on earth, would you be happy with how you have been spending your time?

I’m actually on my way to a bachelorette party and wedding where the bride, one of my best friends for over ten years, is battling for her life in a fight against cancer. She found out in May 2014 she had breast cancer, which metastasized to her bones, then to the lining of her brain and about 2 weeks ago we found out it has spread to her spinal fluid now too. She’s been undergoing aggressive radiation everyday and while this should be the most memorable and joyous time in her life, she has to be a true warrior just to get through each day.

Our time on this earth is fleeting. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. This trip and situation with my dear friend is a humbling reminder that the time we take for granted, someone else may literally be dying to have more of. It reminded me that…

Time is of the essence. This isn’t just a neat saying.

Spend your time wisely.

Use your time while you have it.

Take care of your health, your body, your mind and your heart.

Surround yourself with people who adore and love you.

Find what you are passionate about and pursue it relentlessly.

If something or someone isn’t serving you, don’t spend your precious time on it any longer.

Understand that the tomorrow you keep talking about isn’t guaranteed.

If you really want something, go after it now before it’s too late.

We were put on this earth to find our gifts and then to share them with others. Knowing what you want and spending your time diligently nourishing your soul’s desires is the mark of someone who is on the path of mastery and committed to bringing their visions to life, knowing that time well spent is the key.

I don’t know about you, but this Sunday I will be at a wedding honoring the marriage of two people who are the definition of true love, dedication and commitment to each other along with celebrating the life of someone I care very deeply about. Our Sunday afternoon will be spent with friends and family next to someone who is running out of time.

What if we all lived like we are running out of time? How would your life change? My perspective has certainly been rattled and I’m ready to conquer my dreams NOW, today, while time is on my side.

Life truly is short. Much shorter than we realize. Let us all start valuing how, who and what we spend our time on, with the utmost concern. Time is not replaceable. We can never get it back once it’s gone. So let us be more mindful of how we are spending the time in our clocks. There will come a day when all of our time is up and we can never be so sure of when that is.

If your clock were almost up, how would you be living? Why not live that way NOW? Why not do those things now?

Remember on your tombstone, the hyphen between the day you were born and the day you pass from this world, represents what you did with your time here. While the dates listed there may be guaranteed, the dash in between them is totally up to you.

Take a look at your Sunday afternoon and see if you can get a real feel for your priorities based on how you spend this time. Then apply that to all your time to see if you are really living your life the way you want to be or how you know you should be. Perhaps the most important question we can ever ask is: What’s in your hyphen?

To read more about my best friend, send her some love or donate to her journey with cancer please go to: www.ChrissyFields.com. I love you Dink! xo

  • Khalid

    Hi Carly,

    Brilliant post as usual.

    I’m sorry to hear about your friend and her fight with cancer.

    I appreciate if you convey my regards to her in the wedding and tell her that I’ll be praying to God to ease that journey for her and to give her the needed strength to get over with it.


  • MiraclesAreBrewing

    Thank you so much Khalid! You are so sweet! We appreciate your kind words, prayers and support. May you be blessed always! :)