I’d love to say these are “just because” roses, but they’re not. They are because I completely lost my cool the other day for reasons that seemed immensely important to me and there’s apology tucked in these stems. But that’s beside the point.
The truth is sometimes I get angry. Like if I’m being really honest, tantrums are no stranger to me. I have certain triggers that for what ever reason – make me rage inside!
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I feel everything intensely. I know this is partly because of my sober lifestyle and also a function of my personality.
The thing is, sobriety eliminates escape mechanisms that most people use to deal with their stuff and because I no longer take those routes, it makes me feel things that much more.
This is part of my humanness. And this shit is hard work guys! Sometimes I just want to run away. Sometimes I feel like I might crawl out of my own skin. It’s uncomfortable and I want to make it go away as fast as possible.
But then sometimes I realize that in the “being” is also the becoming.
Anger is something no one likes to talk about but we all experience it. So, today I decided that it’s OK. Like it’s all good even when it doesn’t feel good.
Emotions come to the surface to show us something that needs to be healed. Rather than run from it this time, I’m going to talk about it, sit with it and maybe even have a cup of coffee with it.
Because I’ve learned the hard way that the only way to heal it, is to feel it.
What is also not in the photo is a large package of peanut butter cups. Of which I’ve unapologetically already had 4.
I’m not going to be ashamed or sugar coat what this photo is actually about. Why? Because anyone who reads this knows what I’m talking about.
And if it speaks to you, I invite you to sit with me -IN it – whatever your IT might be. And maybe get yourself some Reese’s. Because, well those are the only “just because” in all of this.
All the love. Namaste.