It was the summer of 2012. I had just gone through a devastating break up with someone I thought I knew, but, to my surprise, had been living a complete double life. Needless to say, it sent me searching for answers.
I felt like the floor had fallen out beneath me.
I was four years into my sobriety at the time, feeling challenged to stay on the path and understand more about who I was as a person.
It left me questioning how I could let someone into my life like that. Why I didn’t know or see the lies I was being told. How could I ever trust someone again, including myself.
I made a pact with myself that I wasn’t going to date anyone for a long while to come and I was going to figure out what I really wanted, why I was the way I was and, ultimately, take a pause to unravel the dark corners I realized were still looming inside of me.
In my quest for answers, I read books like A Course in Miracles, Spirit Junkie and A Million Little Pieces. I faithfully read The Daily Love. I listened to Kute Blackson. I prayed, A LOT. And then I stumbled upon the Design Your Life weekend workshop with The Handel Group.
It was just what I had been looking for – an intensive coaching course aimed and having you examine YOU. Before the weekend even began we had deep inquiry homework that had us take a very close look at our lives; all aspects of it. We were to come prepared with our internal inventory analysis and also had to turn it in via email prior to our arrival to the coach leading the weekend.
As I went through every area of my life, I realized there were many missing pieces, things I aspired to do and ways in which I wasn’t living exactly how I wanted to be.
This was an opportunity for me to dive deeper, to ask questions and ultimately to gain the clarity I had been searching for.
I took no shortcuts with the homework and poured my guts out on to the pages. I then sent it over to the coach on the other end who I had never met, giving her the most raw, uncut and intimate look into my life that anyone had ever seen. Every nerve in my body was alert as I hit send.
I showed up for the weekend, anxious, but ready. Nervous, but brave. Intrigued, but terrified.
At the end of the weekend, we got feedback from our master coach. I will never forget what she said to me that day. She looked me straight in the eyes and very lovingly and gently told me:
I didn’t know if I should cry or feel relieved. I didn’t know that those words would pierce me in ways that actually allowed me to stop hiding.
The weekend was in June. By October I had started Miracles Are Brewing. I had come out of hiding.
After having that experience and continuing to share pieces of me and my story with the world, I understand how important it is to receive feedback. To not be afraid to ask questions. To seek answers that unlock parts of our soul.
I felt called to give you a space to do just that. Are you looking for answers? Is there something you are trying to figure out about yourself or life?
Introducing Dear CB – a space for you to send me your burning questions.
Maybe you have been reading for a while. Maybe you are newer to the tribe. Maybe you, too, have been hiding. This is your opportunity to inquire, dive deeper and gain your own clarity.
I will publish responses on the blog, anonymously – don’t worry I won’t disclose your name! My passionate charge in this life is to help teach people how to create a lifestyle they can’t wait to wake up into each day. To play MUCH bigger. To vibe higher. And to embrace how epic they truly are.
I believe we are all connected and experience the same moments of wonder and emotion. Let’s dive in together. Send me your questions here.