How To Let Go of Unexpected Responses

Carly BensonPractice

let it be what it is

One thing I have learned over the years is to let go of how you think people should respond.

Let go of the outcome we have playing in our heads.

Let go of the expectation we have of what the other person should do.

Let circumstances and situations be exactly what they are.

If we can get to a point where we are unattached from our interactions on the level of how we envision the scenario to play out, we can also reach the point where the flow of life is happening at just the speed it needs to.

When we carry a certain expectation of how someone should respond to us, we take away from the natural order of the things. This happens a lot in love relationships especially. We expect our significant others to respond in the way that we think is best or the way that we would respond. When in all actuality they are a completely different person with an entirely different brain. They are not always going to do things exactly how we want them to and it will not always be as we expected.

No one is perfect, including ourselves. We can’t go through life expecting others not to make mistakes or treat us incorrectly sometimes. It is all part of the equation of life. We are here to learn and to serve, to grow and to nurture, to love and be loved.

I believe our response to situations, especially when they don’t go our way, is the cornerstone of teaching us how to love, unconditionally.

Often our responses to situations are triggered by what our mind is telling us about how we think the situation should be. Just because someone did not treat us the way we wanted them to, doesn’t make them wrong, within reason, obviously.  I’m not talking about someone who is rude or nasty to you.  That is not acceptable and requires a different level of response, confrontation and forgiveness on our part. I’m referring to the situations where things are more or less harmless, but did not turn out exactly how you had planned.

Those times when you ask your boss for a raise or vacation time and they say no. Or when you ask someone out on a date and you get the diss. Or those times that you send someone a text and they don’t get back to you for days. Perhaps there is a friend who is not supportive on something important to you. Or maybe your business colleague is doing things differently than you would. Whatever the case, we have to keep in mind that we are going to have differences in opinion or viewpoint which affect how we respond.

So, the next time someone doesn’t react to you the way you think they should have, take a step back.  Remember that this is just a part of life. Rather than respond to them out of anger or frustration, take some time to let go of the previous expectation you held about how you thought they should have been towards you. Instead, let it be what it is.

In moments, where things do not unfold as you wanted them to, this is a time for you to practice acceptance and patience. If everything always went the way we wanted it to, we would never learn and grow. These moments of frustration or even rejection are pivotal points for our growth. Step into them with thankfulness as they are shaping you into who you need to be.

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11