The photo on the left is from February 2008 – six months before I got sober. I was on a trip to Amsterdam and there wasn’t one minute of that week that I wasn’t completely lit.
I binge drank everyday. Red Bull Vodka in hand at all times while simultaneously pumping my body with weed, cocaine, molly, sleepless nights and wreckless debauchery.
It was one of the messiest times of my life to say the least. And at the time I thought it was so much “fun.” But on the inside I was riddled with anxiety, sadness and sickness.
You could see it in my eyes and in my lifeless “smile” if you looked close enough. I always had this snarky, smug look on my face – the one that says “This helps me hide how lost I feel so I’m going to give you a snobby smirk to let you know someone is in there but not all there and I’m not sure you understand this feeling when I’m high is really just my highest low.”
January 17th, I tipped the scales – it marked 101 months of sobriety for me.
I’m thankful that I no longer feel the need to hide anymore. I’m not lost anymore. And I sure don’t need alcohol and drugs to have fun anymore.
I’m at my highest high without being physically high on anything other than standing in my truth and purpose. The photo on the right is me, today, doing just that.
From a mess into a message.
And speaking of messages…
When I started Miracles Are Brewing in 2013, my intention was to share what I was learning, spread inspiration and talk about my sobriety and faith. I really didn’t know what I was doing – sort of like when I got sober. But I was willing to try because I felt a calling to BE better and DO better.
This path is hard work. But one thing that has pulled me through is my commitment to this life and this lifestyle. Knowing that there is something much greater than me at work has always kept me going. All the times I wanted to quit. All the times I asked what is the point. All the times I could have gotten sidetracked or not seen things through.
Last weekend the Miracles Are Brewing Facebook page surpassed 30,000 people. I am truly blown away. It’s been a time of reflection to say the least.
Let it be a testament to not giving up. To being willing to do things differently. And to being of service by speaking your truth. To the power of miracles.
My mom says,
“The success of one can impact many.”
To that end, I’m a big believer in the domino effect, as such that if I can help one person and they help the next and so on and so forth that maybe, just maybe, we can leave a positive mark on this world.
I look back in awe of reaching this moment milestone and I know it’s because we are in it together. Thank you for doing this work with me.
Let’s suit up, show up, keep our eyes up and never ever give up.